You know you've been in Iraq too long if:
Ø You start to think "it's not so bad here".
Ø You say "this place sort of grows on you".
Ø You say, "it feels cooler today" and find out that the temperature is 110.
Ø The term "trailer trash" is a term of endearment.
Ø You call your tent (trailer if you're lucky) 'home'.
Ø You get excited at the idea of ICE.
Ø Apaches excite you much more than Blackhawks or Kiowas
Ø You don't jump when a door slams or someone drops something.
Ø You aren't alarmed when every second person you see has a gun . . . or two . . . or three.
Ø You kick the M-16 on the floor aside without a second thought when you sit down to eat in the Dining Facility.
Ø A Gloc or 9 mm on a lady's hip is considered sexy.
Ø Mortars and rockets sounds are "okay" compared to Vehicle bombs (IED's).
Ø You can measure distances based on explosion sounds.
Ø When a "Red Alert" sounds and you're leaving a DFAC, you rather go back in and have more coffee instead of seeking shelter in a bunker somewhere.
Ø You know the difference in sound between "incoming" and "outgoing"
Ø You get excited at the prospect of seeing the latest gun camera videos
Ø $5 for a dvd is a little pricey...especially if there is only one movie on it.
Ø If you can't find a new movie a day after it is released in theatres state side you are disappointed.
Ø Sitting around with your coworkers talking about different ways to be killed is considered "water cooler talk".
Ø You are soothed by the sounds of helicopters flying six feet over your trailer.
Ø Bullet holes in cars are no longer alarming.
Ø Car selections consist of "hard" or "soft", not Cadillac or Mercedes.
Ø Road trips consist of 6 vehicles and large caliber weapons.
Ø Driving on the sidewalk is normal.
Ø Driving on the wrong side of a divided four lane street is normal.
Ø Hit-and-run fender benders are treated as mere warnings.
Ø You get upset that you don't get C-130 Frequent Flyer Miles.
Ø Your carry-on luggage includes a flack jacket and helmet.
Ø Driving through the traffic circle of death has lost its thrill.
Ø If they had had one, you would have paid every dollar you had in your wallet for a bottle of frozen water one very long day at BIAP.
Ø You enjoy waiting 45 minutes for the toilets to refill.
Ø It's ok to brush your teeth with the brown water that comes out of the faucets.
Ø KBR buzz cuts begin to look stylish (even on girls).
Ø Flies don't even hang around the truck drivers
Ø You have your own roll of toilet paper stashed in your tent/office and car.
Ø You are not surprised to see someone performing morning ablutions in the office restroom
Ø A shower with water that is neither to cold to hot and contains no mosquitoes is a priceless unattainable luxury.
Ø "Texas Barriers" are something other than a device to keep Texans out.
Ø "Jersey Barriers" are something other than fences to keep Holsteins away from Jerseys.
Ø You begin to believe that project construction being blown up only twice a week is progress.
Ø You get excited with the presence of clouds.
Ø You know ten times as many South Africans as you've ever known before.
Ø The security guards are Ghurka or South African.
Ø You look forward to Mohammad's Mango ice cream as the treat for the day.
Ø Powdered eggs taste ok.
Ø You consider plastic ware the Palace China.
Ø You can distinguish inherent qualities of various plastic utensils.
Ø The quality of the plastic utensils becomes a hot dinner topic.
Ø Having to separate plastic plates causes you undue stress.
Ø Lettuce for your salad becomes a luxury.
Ø You believe that bacon and ham should be grey in color.
Ø No matter what animal you are eating, it will be flavored with curry.
Ø Scamming a 3rd can of soda makes you feel like you got even with someone.
Ø You are putting on weight because the Saddam's Revenge Diet no longer works.
Ø Going to another mess hall is an adventure.
Ø Putting Thousand Islands on your hamburger bun instead of mayo/mustard/catsup is normal.
Ø You automatically pick up two plastic forks whenever beef is on the menu at the DFAC
Ø You accept the fact that fajitas do not require tortillas
Ø Sliced hot dogs on a pizza served in a Chinese restaurant is good eats.
Ø You have ever considered leaving for a brownie and some milk during a mortar attack at the palace.
Ø You think desert combat boots look great with shorts.
Ø Sand between your thong sandals actually feels good.
Ø The color white is no longer an option.
Ø Speedos for security guards seem right.
Ø You can recognize 12 different camouflage patterns.
Ø You've given up on shoe polish.
Ø T-shirt sizes at the PX are: M, L, XL, XXL & KBR
Ø You get a big smile when you see your pressed clothes at the laundry.
Ø You get a bigger smile knowing they didn't lose your laundry.
Ø You get the biggest smile when you get back someone else's laundry and now you have more underwear then before.
Ø You think the bullet holes in the roof of your trailer is just another form of ventilation.
Ø You get upset because the post office won't ship your looted artifacts.
Ø You haven't had water from anything other than a bottle for months on end.
Ø You consider broken sandbags just a new beach expansion.
Ø The idea of a double wide is only for the fortunate or very powerful.
Ø Forgetting your military ID makes you feel naked...but pants are optional.
Ø A bootleg of the new stateside release is not available at the PX 2 days later.
Ø "Only one rocket has hit the camp" is excellent news.
Ø Cardboard boxes have become substantial pieces of furniture.
Ø Stars & Stripes seems to be a liberal newspaper.
Ø Acronyms become the acceptable language.
Ø It feels normal to have to run outside to make a cell phone call.
Ø You call your coworkers as soon as new T-shirt patterns arrive at the PX.
Ø "Can you hear me" takes up 50% of your cellular telephone conversations.
Ø You realize it is Saturday or Sunday because no one from DC/Houston phones.
Ø Your conversations with co-workers are sprinkled with "Roger that" and "Good copy"
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